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Have you ever wondered how the greatest newsletters and blog articles are born? Which spells are cast to make product descriptions as interesting as the greatest novels? How to create extraordinary content?
I’m sorry to disappoint you, it's not the kind of knowledge you are going to learn from this post. I am about to give you the best possible advice on how to write badly.
Get ready for 7 ultimate tips on how to create shitty content.
1. Let yourself shine
Whether you write a text for your website or a blog post, do not forget who’s the star. It’s you. Customers can’t wait to learn more about who you are. They are dying to read about what you think. Be generous, give them more than they expect!
You may be tempted to twist facts a bit so your achievements look even better. Do it! Content is the new advertisement and everyone knows that advertisements lie.
2. Let people know how smart you are
Nothing speaks better to the imagination than big, fancy words. As long as you use them, nobody will accuse you of lack of competence. Prove that deleterious adjudications regarding your proficiencies are erroneous!
Do not worry too much whether people will understand you or not. You should show the world that you’re an expert so you can get the proper adoration respect.
3. Don’t bother with original content
One particularly popular marketing advice is to be original at all costs. Luckily, it won’t cost you anything as you are already unique. No need to spend hours on thinking about your strategy, choice of subject and research what has been already written. Just write whatever you want!
If someone calls your newsletter boring, don’t fall for it. People who criticize your work are simply jealous. Haters gonna hate.
4. Think of SEO at all times
Let me guess: you want to create stunning website so it becomes your brand’s advocate. You want customers to find their way to your web page and stay. Put a signpost on Google – befriend SEO.
Write down a couple of keywords and stuff your text up like a turkey on Thanksgiving. You can be even more clever – create invisible text. All you need to do is to add several keywords under a text in the same color as the background. Easy. The doors to your webpage are wide open now. And with a little bit of luck your webpage will not be banned from Google.
5. Don’t proofread
There are people out there who cannot publish their writing before someone has read it. Why on earth would you want to do the same? Showing your work to others is a school tradition. You’re running a business, not a school.
Proofreading is something you always do. You write and you read it at the same time, right? You can see if you made mistakes or not. If you get comments pointing out your errors after the publication… Their shurely not THAT noticable if you did’nt spot them!
6. Don’t waste your time on promotion
Many copywriters and bloggers promote their work on social media. They obviously struggle for attention as there are no visitors on their webpages. No one told them that great content will draw attention without any help. Let’s face it: maybe their writing is simply not good enough. Fortunately, yours is!
If you have followed my SEO advice, readers are already storming your website. You may have even shared the link on your social media page. Is there anything left to do? No.
7. Expect money and fame
Last but not least: people will try to convince you that you cannot make any money on writing, that writing should be a passion and should come from your heart. It’s not total bullshit, it has some semblance of truth. But come on, you invest your time and energy. There is nothing wrong in expecting to get rich from writing.
People will also tell you that you should forget about fame. But if you are a great copywriter, you deserve to be well known, simple as that! And when your name is known, well, there comes the money. You’re bound to succeed!
Recipe for success
Let’s consider a hypothetical situation when you do not want to write bad stuff. You want your content to stand out from texts written by self-proclaimed SEO gurus and “smart” marketing tacticians. My advice to you would be to read these seven tips once again and make sure you never ever follow any of them.
Although they seem to be ridiculous, these “tips” are common mistakes in online marketing.
They are the main reason behind so many bad marketing texts!
So my final advice is: don't listen to devil's advocate (me) as content is about giving people something valuable.
Don't forget about it!
Photo courtesty of Zeitfaenger.at via Creative Commons.